Disclaimer:

Trigger warning: depression, talk of suicide.

It’s been a while since I wrote a mental health piece — but I think it’s important to occasionally stop, take a breather, and think about how we feel.

So.

deep breath

I’m okay, I think? Just a little restless.

A bit of personal context

For those keeping score, I went through major life events in 2023 — a divorce, a move, and the news that I might need a second round of jaw surgery.

Despite their peaceful appearance, game developers actually lead thrilling lives! Here are three things I learned (or re-learned) about yesterday that I’d like to share with you, in the form of assumptions that revealed false.

VSync is relatively straightforward. Right?

As an obsessive-compulsive, bipolar, perfectionist game dev, getting your game to run smoothly on all kinds of operating systems, graphics cards, and drivers combination is something of a holy grail. Many look for it, but let’s be honest here, it never really turns out as expected.

There are several Rust quizzes online, including one that’s literally called the “Unfair Rust Quiz” at https://this.quiz.is.fckn.gay/, but when I was given the opportunity to record an episode of the Self-Directed Research podcast live on the main stage of EuroRust 2025, I thought I’d come up with something special.

What’s a ktls

I started work on ktls and ktls-sys, a pair of crates exposing Kernel TLS offload to Rust, about two years ago.

kTLS lets the kernel (and, in turn, any network interface that supports it) take care of encryption, framing, etc., for the entire duration of a TLS connection… as soon as you have a TLS connection.

For the handshake itself (hellos, change cipher, encrypted extensions, certificate verification, etc.), you still have to use a userland TLS implementation.

Remember the snapshot we made allll the way back in Part 1? Now’s the time to use it.

Well, make sure you’ve committed and pushed all your changes, but when you’re ready, let’s go back in time to before we installed anything catscii-specific in our VM.

This should emulate the experience of a colleague onboarding onto the project well enough!

(I didn’t actually use VirtualBox’s snapshot feature for this, I actually set up a Ubuntu 22.10 VM on another computer entirely, but the effect should be much the same).

Learning Rust is… an experience. An emotional journey. I’ve rarely been more frustrated than in my first few months of trying to learn Rust.

What makes it worse is that it doesn’t matter how much prior experience you have, in Java, C#, C or C++ or otherwise - it’ll still be unnerving.

In fact, more experience probably makes it worse! The habits have settled in deeper, and there’s a certain expectation that, by now, you should be able to get that done in a shorter amount of time.

There’s a question that always comes up when people pick up the Rust programming language: why are there two string types? Why is there String, and &str?

My Declarative Memory Management article answers the question partially, but there is a lot more to say about it, so let’s run a few experiments and see if we can conjure up a thorough defense of Rust’s approach over, say, C’s.

Haven’t blogged in a while. Life’s fine, project are a-plenty, but I just wanted to make a more lasting post about one particular issue that struck me as funny when programming Paper Isaac.

Bugs, bugs, bugs

What’s infuriating when letting others play an early prototype is that you hear constantly the same things. Some bugs are non-trivial to fix, some you’re just not motivated to fix now… sometimes you just have your head elsewhere, gotta focus, or are elbow-deep in some other piece of code and the damn walls can wait.

Before we move on to parsing more of our raw packets, I want to take some time to improve our error handling strategy.

Currently, the ersatz codebase contains a mix of Result<T, E>, and some methods that panic, like unwrap() and expect().

We also have a custom Error enum that lets us return rawsock errors, IO errors, or Win32 errors:

pub enum rawsock stdio

On September 8 2025, around 13:00 UTC, someone compromised Josh Junon’s npm account (qix) and started publishing backdoored versions of his package.

Someone noticed and let Josh know:

Josh confirmed he’d gotten pwned by a fake 2FA (two-factor authentication) reset e-mail:

The phishing e-mail came from npmsj.help (registered 3 days prior) and claimed users had to reset their 2FA: